Today
I was thinking about what has happened to me in the past, which has brought
about the change in me
now. I am constantly reminded of the many challenges I
have faced and the many “eye openers” God placed
and still continues to place
in my life. I’ve cried tears of sadness and joy. I have grown a faith which
didn’t
exist for the longest time. I have seen hardships that have driven my
soul to hurt and mourn, but move. I
have fallen, but I follow a God who picks
me up. So many tough situations that I have encountered blow up in
my mind.
Nevertheless, I am in awe. I am in awe of the fact that Jesus used every single
one of the hard
moments in my life to bring me right back to him. Whether it
was to teach me patience, or the joyful tears of
remembering I am loved by a
perfect God. I can’t tell you how many times in a day I mess up, and I can’t
tell
you how many times in a day I have to quickly put into perspective that
Jesus Christ is in fact, the only one
who can love me the way I am. What if I
told you that having scoliosis and wearing a back brace actually
made me
thankful, but what if I told you while in the process of wearing that brace I
was being “re-shaped”
by God. There was no way I was thankful. To be honest, I
hated that brace! Through it I was taught to be
humble and patient. I think
about the big move from California to Pennsylvania that took place just about ten
years ago and
how that was a life changing experience. Not just for me, but my entire family.
To see God
work through the lowest moments in life, is beautiful. It’s almost
like we are blinded when something good
happens, because we don’t know what “good”
is! We like the feeling of perfection, but how can I, a totally
sinful human,
even begin to try living a “good and perfect” lifestyle. It feels awkward. How
can I even praise
God with a humble heart if I had no clue what humbleness was
had not I been taught it in a hard way.
Hardships produce growth in Christ. He creates
someone like a worthless sinner, into someone beautiful in
His sight. I now live life in a whole new way. To grow more and more like Him everyday. I have faith in His
work and time. It's a process, let me tell you! It's an awesome process though. In this very moment, I can
laugh. I can even smile.
Why?
Because He is good.
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